February 2010
90 posts
“…I’m asking this particularly of young people who watch: Please don’t be...”
– Conan O’Brien, his last episode of the Tonight Show (via thechocolatebrigade)
January 2010
80 posts
It's ok
You need to reach in and grab your heart through your stomach sometimes. Detach your eyes from the soles of your feet. It’s always unbelievable the things people neglect to see about themselves.
Dude
I don’t give a crap how bad your day was. Don’t drink the whole bottle. Leave some for the morning and if you don’t I’m going to have to ask you for the entire $15.99 you disparagingly stole from my wallet. #youdontknowtheshitihadtogothroughtogethere.com
Here’s the thing. This city I live in has a lot of inconveniences. It’s overcrowded, sprawls, and doesn’t know when to shutup. But when I want something whether it be a donut to a kosher hot dog to a chair made out of rhinoceros ass hair - I know for a fact I can get it. Quick. So when I walk into a store and ask the little biracial looking girl to get me a size 6 in the...
“I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. That’s the thing about...”
– The Catcher in the Rye
everyday people
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Why I still have cable
You know you can’t eat all that stuff just because you’re pregnant. Young man points to the food on his girlfriend’s plate. Rolling her eyes, she pulls in her bottom lip. I know that Gary. Gawwwddd. All I got was a piece of chicken, a plate of salad, and some fucking cheese fries. Teen Mom, Mondays 8/9PM central on MTV
Me: My last week of work consists of coming in late, web surfing, and frequent trips to the coffee shop. Even though I don't really drink coffee.
EK: Are you going to be sad?
Me: No. I can't wait to start smelling the roses again.
EK: You might get emotional when you get back and you see the New York skyline from the plane.
Me: Really?
EK: Yes. You'll miss it. Everyone always does.
Me: I'll file that under good to know.
EK: Yeah, you do that.
“I spent my life learning to feel less. Every day I felt less. Is that growing...”
– Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Bare essentials
food water endorphins sass an eclectic pair of shoes couple of notepads pen a map the open road a little bit of you on my mind
It takes a certain degree of selflessness to offer someone a foot massage. This says: 1. I want you to feel really good. 2. I don’t mind touching your feet. 3. I can work around your ticklishness.
Stream of consciousness
Oncoming signs of a cold.
Write something you care about.
Clear out the notepad on your iPhone.
Call her back.
Listen to Erik: don’t plan the shit.
Don’t go broke.
Remember the wine place he used to take you to. (What was the name of that street again? One way. Oh, right.)
It’s 60 degrees in January.
Paying for a massage sounds better than folding the laundry.
I’m an adult.
I want NYC...
careful
I had a man follow me across the city once. He boarded the same train. Sat in the same row of seats. Avoided the same stops. At one point he stood at my side and called me a good-for-nothing whore in 3 different languages. One of them was definitely Spanish. No one seemed to mind. When it was my turn to get off, the crowd dispersed. I walked speedily through the station. He was fast and caught up...
Trains no. 8
A middle aged woman in a purple bubble jacket. She’s white with short black hair. Maroon pants. Big shopping bag in tow. Presumably carrying rinsed tupperware from an earlier lunch. She probably eats at her desk. A newspaper is folded comfortably into the nook of her right arm. Her hands sit quietly on her lap. The train rocks. Her eyes are small and dark. She falls asleep before they have a...
It’s natural to constrict in and out of awkward situations. Human even. Like a snake? No, less daunting. Like a worm. Always bending, bending, bending.
idiocy
themattsmith:
lickystickypickyme:
There is a highly disturbing tendency in some commercials in the US. Where moms try to disguise that in certain foods there are vegetables. I just saw the Chef Boyardee one where a girl spells V-E-G-E-T-A-B-L-E-S on a can of that crap and asks her mom what it means.
That idiot of a mom doesn’t dare to tell her it spells vegetables. Like it is something evil...
epiphany
Clothes that have shrunk due to excessive drying: -Friends’ relationships. -lack of sleep. Things to remedy: -Stockings with a run: clear nail polish. -Jeans that have been dried excessively will naturally shrink. Take a chill pill. Like the kind you feed a horse.
rearview mirror
Marissa wakes up, sunlight bouncing off the wall. Pigeons cooing. Her eyes fly open. Mike? Are you awake? Marissa grabs her shirt off the floor. Mike hands her a pair of shorts- bends over for a kiss. Marissa pulls away - runs into the bathroom and barely makes it. Mike stands by. Hey babe - Are you ok? Marissa mumbles. Sure, sure. She hangs over the sink, washes her face, stares into mirror....
“if you’re looking for sympathy you’ll find it between shit and syphilis in the...”
– David Sedaris (via thechocolatebrigade)
I am
for the time being, a series of reblog posts and random things to say. Micachu is bumping hard on my hand-me-down speakers. Shaking up the place. Oh and there are moments when the sunlight streams into my apartment in a way that reminds me why I
just can’t move.
WatchWatched TOKYO! this weekend. Amazing. I want to make movies like this. Michel Gondry’s short is the best, especially… Question (for the director): Do women really turn into furniture when they date artists? Answer (hypothetical): Probably. But even so, he’d just find some creative reason as to why a chair symbolizes a solid, naturalistic form of a long lasting commitment.
Thank...
“Dear Journal,
Feeling listless again today. It began at dawn, when I tried...”
– Sue Sylvester, GLEE (via thechocolatebrigade) #good writers #good television #boner
guilt trip
T called and asked when I was going to stop by and take a look at his place. I tell him I’m not sure and that I’m really busy. He says that’s a bunch of shit and that if I could remember how many times he rode bike to my place last summer and that I owed him indefinately - at least one visit. I asked him when he started counting. Which turns into a moment of silence over the...
every year at this time, i'm reminded of a...
boss: i remember when i was growing up, there was a holiday for abraham lincoln's birthday and one for george washington's birthday. then they put them both together and called it president's day. but for some reason martin luther king gets his own holiday. what did he ever do to deserve his own holiday?
me: are you serious?
boss: ...
me: maybe it was his intimate involvement in this little thing called the civil rights movement. perhaps it had something to do with standing up for people who had no voice of their own on a public stage - people who experienced inequality at virtually every turn.
boss: he was a womanizer. all he ever did was start race riots.
me: i guess i can see how his unwavering stance of peaceful resistance and racial equality can be misconstrued as someone trying to start race riots. sure. why not?
boss: i just don't see why he deserves his own federal holiday.
“…long i stood there wondering, fearing, doubting dreaming dreams no mortal...”
– Edgar Allen Poe
Just another day, New York
Blue Pink Violet Mustard Four thick layers of paint chipped away on the 7th ave subway column. 1- I’m headed uptown again. 2- the b and the d switch off in 5 minute intervals. 3- the day has been murder. 4-an old man in a sleuth hat bumps into my knees before sitting down. He’s holding a largish hardcover novel and a pair of wire glasses. When our eyes meet he smiles like we...
etcetera
Before me lies a creased page of gobbledygook. The letters form sentences. Sentences form paragraphs. Paragraphs are meant to be devoured, not picked at.
…..10 minutes go by…..
Nothing’s changed. My mind feels like a helium balloon. Swollen and pregnant. Ugh. The essay on Kurosawa remains constant, alien. The printed recycled paper looks back at me, disappointed. It seems...
“The best way to waste your life is by taking notes. The easiest way to avoid...”
– Lullaby by Chuck Palahniuk (via thechocolatebrigade)
great expectations
An hour has passed. Leonard sits down on her couch and plunks his feet up on her wooden coffee table. He removes a bag of loose tobacco from his breast pocket and spreads the contents over a tiny square of translucent paper. Leonard packs everything jn tightly than seals the open ends of the cigarette with his tongue. He lights the tip and commences walking around her studio apartment. He skims...
you overdid it, doll
I couldn’t be more disinterested in my job right now. If I were i’d probably be lying underneath a plot of fertilized dirt somewhere pushing up daisies with the skeletal bones of my middle fingers. #this isn’t what I signed up for #college degrees are not insured #I quit
monday
So you’re sitting across from guy with cashmere scarf. And he’s modestly dressed with a big dopey grin on his face which he’s managed to sustain for over 10 stops. It’s annoying. He looks at you. You look at him. The smile gets bigger. You wonder what he’s on And if he could maybe give you some.
Demystifying
magicmolly:
Californians have always been inordinately interested in ideas of California. You could draft a long list of people who have devoted their writing, art, or film careers to refining different versions of a California narrative.
The state is easy to romanticize because it is a frontier, as about a million people have noted, but mainly because everything is so big. It’s tempting to...
brooklynized
When I go uptown it’s like traveling to a whole new continent. Everything is different. The people especially. I know, I know it’s ridiculous But it’s true.
